Jade Winters Article
by BuzzCat
Summary: The population of Hogwarts has a three part article written about them. Rated for safety.


**Hogwarts Teachers and Students: Fact, Fiction, and Opinions, PART 1**

Written 6/27/10

"_The staff of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry led very interesting lives. Not that the students knew it. In order to write this article, I asked varying students from years 1-7 about their teachers. According to fourth year Dennis Creevey, "Professor Dumbledore is pretty cool. I mean, he and Harry talk a lot, right? So that must mean he is amazing by association." However, when I asked 7th year Draco Malfoy, he said that Professor Dumbledore is "the worst headmaster Hogwarts has ever seen. The standards of the wizarding world have really fallen since my father's day if __Professor Dumbledore__ is considered anything better than a barmy old codger." But aside from the Headmaster, there were many other varying opinions on the best, worst, and everything-in-between teachers. "Divination is a load of dragon dung. I mean, I only got one thing out of the crystal ball: There's going to be an obscene amount of fog tonight." Says 7th year Amy Guilderman. "Oh Professor Trelawney is an amazing teacher. She's taught me loads, and I avoided some pretty nasty scrapes because of her teaching." Comments Lavender Brown. I spoke with many students, and it seemed the common consensus is that Professor Severus Snape is the most prejudiced against other houses. An anonymous student confided in me,_

_"Snape is worst of all the teachers I've ever had. And I had Lockhart for a teacher." The ex-Professor Lockhart has been exposed as a fraud in recent years, and once taught at Hogwarts five years ago. The anonymous source continues, "Snape takes points for some students getting the potion __right.__ He takes 30 points at least from Gryffindor on a regular basis. I heard that his record is taking __300 points __from Gryffindor __in a single class__." When I delved further into this, I found that in 1992, Messers. Fred and George Weasley accidentally set off some Wet-Start Filibuster's Fireworks in potions, losing for their house 125 points each. Both lost another 25 for arguing with the professor. However, further research revealed that Severus Snape has taken even more points in a single day. In 1983, as prefect Professor Snape took 565 points from Messers. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs._

_Another teacher that I heard quite a bit about was Professor Minerva McGonagall. It seemed that there were 2 very popular refrains: "She assigns more homework than it is physically possible to do" and the other being "Professor McGonagall is the best teacher ever. Anyone who says otherwise will get their liver removed with a rusty spoon." I do believe that if Miss McGonagall were to attempt to raise an army or gain a following, she would have no trouble whatsoever doing so._

_I also received quite a lot of mentions on the ghost Professor Binns. "That old moron couldn't tell Dumbledore from Grindelwald. I think he ought to be fired this instant." Says another anonymous source. Others say, "Oh. That one guy? What does he teach again? 'History of Magic'? What class is that?" Comments 6th year Colin Creevey. "Forget his subject. __Binns __is a load of dung. In my class of 14, there is one single person who ever bothers to write notes. Honestly, I won't be surprised if everyone fails miserably." Replies Ron Weasley._

_The opinions of students on their teachers are not very surprising to anyone who has been to Hogwarts or has a student at Hogwarts. However, in PART 2 of this article, we will be given the opinions of the teachers on the students. I must say, some of this was much unexpected, and pleasantly surprising. The conclusion of this article will be found in PART 3, in which adults of the wizarding world comment on both the teachers and students of Hogwarts."_

_-Jade Winters_

The Hogwarts staff table was buzzing with conversation on the latest article by Jade Winters. Miss Winters was known for multi-chapter articles, most of which were interesting. This one, however, appeared to have sparked the interest of all. While the teachers' table was buzzing, the House tables were positively roaring with talk on the article.

"This really is the strangest article by this Jade Winters. I mean, of course she has some interesting articles. That one last week on the pros and cons of importing dragons was very compelling, and that other article on how to clean your cat and toilet at the same time was positively hilarious. But this," Hermione gestured at the article in front of her, "she really was over-the-top here. I can't wait until we get parts 2 and 3 of this. It's amazing how she never fails to get to us. I wonder what part 2 will be..." Ron shrugged and said,

"I dunno. I really don't want to know what the teachers think about me. Or you. Or Harry. Sorry mates, but I have other things to think about besides how much Snape hates me or McGonagall assigns obscene amounts of homework. Honestly, where does she come off hating us all almost as much as Snape?" The second the last words were out of his mouth, what appeared to be 20 wands were pointed at Ron, their owners glaring at him murderously. Hermione, who also held her wand to Ron's face, growled,

"I will say this once and only once. This is your one and only warning. Professor. McGonagall. Is. The. Best. Teacher. Ever. The next time you say a word against our House head and Transfiguration professor, I can and _will_ remove your liver with a rusty spoon. After throwing you in a pool of spiders." Ron gulped, and nodded. His eyes flicked over Hermione's shoulder, and Hermione turned to find Professor McGonagall looking down at her. Hermione quickly lowered her wand and said,

"Professor…I—have to go." Hermione blushed and strode hastily out of the Great Hall. Ron turned a deep magenta, and Harry fought the strong urge to laugh at both of his friends. Professor McGonagall's mouth twitched upward as she said,

"Weasley?" Ron guiltily looked up. Professor McGonagall smiled down at him. She bent down until she was at Ron's eye level and she said in a low voice,

"I do not hate you. There are very few people in this world that I do hate. I assign homework because I want all of my students to be prepared for when they go into the world. I am sorry if you find it annoying that I 'assign obscene amounts of homework', but I will continue my teachings as I have. I appreciate your honesty, even if you weren't honest intentionally." McGonagall rose, and swept back up the High Table. Ron stared after her, his mouth gaping. He turned back to his bacon and eggs, and sank his head into his breakfast. Harry burst out laughing, as well as the other people who had heard the exchange between Professor McGonagall and Ron. Ron was Harry's best friend and he felt bad for him, but what had happened was just too funny. Ron mumbled into his bacon,

"Shut up Harry."


End file.
